When I knew my life was changing

Well, I will begin with re-meeting who I knew from the very 1st moment would become the love of my life in July 2007, I knew he was the one for me. I am now 32 yrs almost 33 yrs old and have always been a single mother to a wonderful now 15 yr old son...who has had epilepsy himself since 14 mos of age. So almost half of my life has been devoted to making sure I was able to take the most out every situation and struggle he has been through to provide the very best I could for him. He shows every bit of that with the wonderful young man he is becoming! As I said in 2007, that is when I thought all of everything I had been working towards and fighting for had brought me to such a humbling point, finally meeting the man of my dreams and an amazing role model for my son & finally someone else he could look up to and count on to be something well, physically I could never be to him a man! and a father figure : ) I thought it was the beginning of our wonderfully blessed much awaited new beginning...The next "Chapter".... and to my surprise, it sure has been a VERY new chapter, but not as I thought or had hoped for at all.... It has been the most challenging time in my and their lives since October 2008, when initially I had become diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis...and went from being a super active super mom, girlfriend, friend and person to now looking to the support of complete strangers and other people that understand what I may be going through. Long Story short just to catch you up before getting into the many details of my struggle, it has been confirmed by one out of the tens of doctors I have seen that I in fact have chronic Lyme disease....yup, I started researching this myself when the initial shock of the MS wore off and jumped through neurology hoops for MS, and it just didn't add up. None of it, my history, symptoms, treatments etc... and as I'm sure some chronically ill may know you go through periods where you  step back, withdrawal from all of the redundant fighting for your life...and that is where I am at, now seeking viable, affordable trustworthy care that is out there to start heading me in the right direction of getting some of my hope for life back. I live in the most severe chronic, neurological, arthritic, myalgic pain every second of everyday...not knowing what the very next second will bring. It is such a hard feeling to explain, and being over talked, and flat out ignored when discussing it with any of my physicians or the countless ones of the past I feel so helpless and like I am left here to die with a disease that can through time become manageable through very conventional treatments. I have lost who I am as a person, mother, gf, and every other relationship I've had in my life because this has consumed and become my life...robbing me emotionally, mentally, physically...praying every night (through some of the worst pain) for just one more day....afraid to go to sleep most nights, so terrified of how I feel when I go to bed....Chronic Lyme disease is VERY REAL, and ignored by so much of the conventional medical community...it's sad, it's a very serious endemic issue leaving so many like me not knowing how or where to get help!!